- s 0 L i l o Q u Y -

Light the corners of our minds
misty water colored memories
of the way we were

Scattered pictures
of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
From the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me would we? Could we?

Memories
Can be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget

For its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
the way we were……
The way we were.

i miss the times when i was just a kid– those times when all i just wanted were candies… and my mom.

i remember how tight she’d hug me when i felt so afraid to close my eyes at night.

and everytime i bruised my knees, those sweet kisses from this loving woman gave me an assurance that the pain would be eased soon.

time has passed. days have gone by. when almost everything has changed. 

i hope those days would never last. honestly envy strikes my heart everytime i see a mother holding her daughter’s hand as they walk together and vice-versa or every time i see mother and daughter cuddling with each other. they remind me of my younger years. my sweet little days with the most important lady of my life… that strong yet loving lady whom God used so i can see and experience the cheers and bitterness of life.

the memories are still vivid… though the present is vague…

hay piolo! u make me melt!

guzh! guzh! guzh! kung ano’ng meron ang nilalang na ‘to na kinaadiktus ko, iyan ay nababalot pa rin ng misteryo. ^-^

chet! chet! chet! yeah, i know there are rumors that he is a gay. if these were true, i really don’t care… PERIOD! k lang yun bading din naman ako…JOKE! ako bading?! haller!!!

cha, are u deaf and blind? nah, ov coz not! it’s just that… i’m in crush (blushes). u don’t get it? duh!!! i’m falling "crush"! slow!

hay! downloading HEARTS IMvironment… (blink-blink)

Hay! Ilang araw na lang at matatapos na rin ang 2007. Akalain mo yun! Parang kelan lang gumagawa pa ‘ko ng New Year’s resolution ko para sa taon na ito. Speaking of New Year’s resolution, let’s make a review kung alin at ilan sa mga ito ang nagawa ko ng walang "paltos". =)

1. no more social life – mahirap ang bagay na ‘to. dahil sa araw-araw na nilikha ng Poong Maykapal kailangan nating makihalubilo sa ating kapwa. pero kung night life ang pag-uusapan, aba! i’m proud to say na wala na akong night life ngayon. (teka… wala nga ba?!)

2. babawas-bawasan ko na ang pagtambay sa malls so i can avoid unnecessary spending – in fairness, natupad ko naman sya. pinasabog na kasi ang aking madalas puntahan na mall, glorietta (oo, alam ko G2 lang ang pinasabog! eh sa ayoko na rin pumunta dun eh pati sa mga karatig malls nya. makelam ba!)

3. goodbye alcohol – isa lang masasabi ko ukol dito–HINDI AKO TANGGERA! tumitikim lang ako at inde nagpapakalango, ok?! *-*

4. i’ll avoid eating sweets — ok… next resolution please! exception ang item na ito.

5. i’ll devote much of my time on my earnest dream… my license – good luck, charisse! kung may surprise quiz ka lang ngayon wish ko lang pumasa ka.

6. twice a month na lang ako magsu-surf ng net – if this is a crime, then i’m guilty. ahahaha!

7. magkukuripot na akong mag-text — natupad ko sya in fairness! naka-prepaid na lang kasi ako ngayon eh. hehehe!

8. wala munang love life – NO COMMENT

9. uuwi na ‘ko ng maaga – …maaga para sa araw ng bukas! chet! nauwi pa ba ‘ko? oo nga pala, i found a new home sweet home–ang aming opisina.

10. i’ll avoid staying up late ng walang katuturan – ang final wage ba ay may katuturan? c",)

11. hindi na ako magsusungit – ha! ewan ko nga ba kung bakit naisama ko pa ‘to sa mga resolution ko eh di naman talaga ako masungit eh!

12. pag-iibayuhin ko pa ang aking pagiging down-to-earth at di pagmumura — naman! i am and will always be down-to-earth. pagmumura?! tinginingining naman oh! kelan nyo ba ako naringgan nun?! @#$$#$%%$!!!

attention: JANETH and MAD’Z

wag na kayong humingi ng blow-out. wala tayong stipulation (lech!)hinggil dito kaya magsi-tigil kayo, ok?!  =0

moral lesson: wag ng gumawa ng new year’s resolution dahil marami pang naghihintay na final wages (hehehe)

faith fills you

stars are within your reach

yes, they almost touched your praying hands

when Pandora opened again her afflicted box

and blew away almost all that you held tight

trust, joy and love left you

now courage and virtue seem to turn their back too

your once lighted path has now become formidable

oh, you poor soul!

you who longed for nothing but weal!

now you have been cursed!

misery haunts you as a predator hungrily waits for his prey

you mourn, blurt out loud your lamentations

yet nobody seems to hear you

you’re all alone now… dying…

MY LONG LOST SOUL…

why is it that…

those who have touched the heart did not arouse the body and those who have aroused the body did not touch the heart…???

-an excerpt from Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho-

various dictionaries have the same definition of happiness. though mind may find it comprehensible, it could not be clearly understood unless it’s being felt and experienced.

much like life, happiness is finite. more often, mind will tell us to stop when the issue of morality comes in… when you finally come to a point that you have to choose between right and wrong.

i know it’s never wrong to be happy. in fact, God wants us to experience it. only, we have to know our limitations– that is what our VALUES dictate us.

people have different views on this stupid thing called happiness. to the intellectuals, it involves strict abidance to morality. violation to their norm would automatically mean you belong to the underworld. on the other hand, idiots define happiness as something that everybody needs to explore and forget that fucking "M" stuff.

if you wanna ask my stand on it… oh, good heavens! i might be one of those morons! i’m so confused!

For the nth time, you were hurt

I know I have caused so much pain to you,

That you sigh in despair every time you think of me

You are not aware of it …

That your every teardrop breaks my heart into smaller pieces

Your bitter moments of solitude are much unbearable for me.

I hate to see you cry… it hurts me so

I want you to forget me, to stop missing me…

This damn fool does not deserve your love

Save it for someone else who loves you more than you do

I love you, dear… I really do

God knows it…

I cannot contain the love that I have for you

But I need space, too

I want you to move on, to go on with you life

As if I never existed…

As if no bond has ever connected your heart to mine…

hapong binabagtas ang landas ng kawalan…

lubos mang nababatid panganib ng nakaambang

di pa rin maawat itong kaluluwang hibang

hanap ay sariling di masumpungan.

hanggang kailan pipisan sa balatkayo,

niniig sa huwad na anino?

bakit ang nais ay di magawang ganap?

magiging hadlang ba ito sa mga pangarap?

tiyak man sa nais maasam,

kalooba’y puno pa rin ng agam-agam;

hangad lang naman ng puso’y pang-unawa

subalit ito’y mahirap, sukli lamang ay luha.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you